Hello! If you're here, it means you're stalking me. Thanks! :)
My name is Sarah. I'm 26, I live near Seattle, and I work downtown as a sous pastry chef at a ginormous hotel. The last few years have been a roller coaster, as I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, an auto-immune disorder that rolls through your body like a STORM OF FURY! (Kidding - it's much calmer than that. More like... I need to sleep on the couch at 2 in the afternoon, cry a lot, and not eat bread the rest of my life.)
As I said before, I have been heavy most of my life; eating healthy has never come easy for me because I love food. I've always required the assistance of some weight loss program to be successful. I tried Weight Watchers in junior high, Jenny Craig in high school. I did Jenny twice and gained my weight (and then some) back after I finished the program (both times). While I learned how to eat on the program, I felt like I was let out of prison and went crazy on a bunch of food when I got to my goal weight and never stopped. It just felt too good to eat again!
A few years ago, before I was diagnosed, I, for the first time in my life, was starting to take control over my weight on my own. I was eating well, maintaining a great workout regimen by walking this ENORMOUS hill every day, and was losing weight at a steady pace. I got down to a fantastic weight, and felt a great boost in my metabolism that I had never felt. I fit into tiny pants (Size 8 is tiny when you've been up to a size 20) and could actually run to the bus when running was necessary. At this point, I went to the doctor for my yearly physical and got a red flag on my blood work - my thyroid levels were off and my doctor sent me to a specialist. My specialist noticed I had several cysts on my thyroid - jillions (medical term!) of small ones, and two larger ones (one close to 1 cm in diameter, and the other almost 2 cm in diameter). He scheduled a biopsy down the road (everything in the thyroid takes time...) and when it came around, the two larger cysts had disappeared, likely due to my intake of thyroid hormone supplements. When my specialist did my biopsy, he noticed that my thyroid was showing signs of Hashimoto's. Over time, after the cysts disappeared, I began to feel like my old self again: fatigued, not able to sleep as well, depressed, all symptoms of Hashimoto's. My hair was falling out, I began to put weight back on, and it was so emotionally draining. I stopped working out altogether and found much more solace in sitting on the couch and drinking the pain away over a bowl of Tim's Cascade Jalapeno chips and a pint of ice cream. I was taking my thyroid medication, so why was I suddenly feeling this way? And why wouldn't it go away?
I call myself a "victim" of Hashimoto's much of the time because I feel that it literally killed my spirit for some time. It was hard to get out of bed. If not for my supportive mom, my gorgeous and caring boyfriend, and pictures of my dog, I don't know if I would have made it through. I was scared. I didn't want to be heavy anymore. I was doing everything right, and then all of a sudden my body decided that it didn't want to play anymore. I didn't have the energy to exercise. The sudden massive weight gain stressed me out, so I emotionally ate for some time, and due to a recent breakup, went through a stint of alcoholic depression on top of it. I was not in good health. I was the healthiest I had ever been in my whole life - all my dreams were finally coming true, and then Hashi's came and began taking it all away (it's easier to blame it than myself!). As an auto-immune disorder, diseases such as this can begin wreaking havoc on one's body; my immune system was doing my body a favor by ridding my thyroid of the two bad guy cysts, but then went into overtime and started killing the good stuff too. I am now gluten and dairy intolerant, and my body no longer absorbs nutrients from food thanks to a nummy-sounding thing called "leaky gut syndrome" (you're welcome for that visual).
Okay, so you do the math: recent breakup, sudden weigh gain, emotional eater, hair falling out, alcoholic depression, no energy, pastry chef who became gluten and dairy intolerant, and not enough ice cream in the WORLD to console my feelings! (Can't eat it anyways!)(All adds up to nooooo buennoooo!). Every time I woke up, I reminded myself I was so lucky to have such a fantastic support group, and wondered to myself why I wasn't taking advantage of it. I started trying to eat better, cut out both gluten and dairy, and tried to do the Paleo diet as a suggestion for auto-immune sufferers. (It went well until someone ordered pizza. Good god. Have you smelled pizza?). I did paleo off and on, and tried to sneak in gluten and dairy occasionally, just to make TRIPLE sure that I was still reacting to it. Yup! Headaches and nausea would PLAGUE me for a few days after eating only a little bit. None of it was making me feel any better. Eating well wasn't making me feel better. I had given up almost entirely on losing weight and feeling better. Even my big pants were starting to feel tight, and I JUST bought them.
Thankfully, I believe in good karma. At some point in my life, I held the door open for the right person at the right time or said good morning to someone that needed it, because good karma swung back around and brought me Gloria. Gloria is a very good friend of mine that I met in the 3rd grade. She was in 2nd grade, and I remember the first time I ever saw her. We were at recess and she was this very tiny, adorable little Asian person with a bowl cut (it was a big bowl too! Awwww!), and I just thought she was adorable. We kept in touch off and on through school; we lived in the same neighborhood, just a few streets over. We went through several periods where we would hang out a lot for a few months, and then just kind of drifted away. (I've never really been a great friend - I always assume that people are better off without me. I've never really thought of myself as a cool person. I sit alone and think about all the people I've been good friends with - when I see them with me, I see them sitting and talking with me and looking bored. When I see them in my head when I'm home alone, I see them sitting on a beach somewhere drinking mai tais. I, too, would prefer the mai tais to my boring conversation, so I just assume they're happier there without me!)
For some unknown reason, Gloria and I sparked a conversation and went out to sushi a few weeks ago. We got caught up and began hanging out quite a bit. I needed it, and so did she. My depression stint and breakup basically took away all my social interaction because I pushed everyone away. Spending time with Gloria has been a godsend. She pulls me out of the house to do things, and I haven't been this active in months (I have things on the calendar!). Just my luck, Gloria just started as a health coach for a program called Take Shape For Life. After a few weeks of convincing, she finally got me to start it.
Take Shape For Life is a program that utilizes the Medifast meal supplements, a line of meal replacements that are physician recommended, heart healthy meals that put one's body into a fat-burning mode for quick and healthy weight loss. It sounds extreme because it is. Clients get a box of food delivered to their door to feed themselves for 4 weeks; 5 meal replacements a day, and then you're on your own for the sixth meal with a lean and green (protein and vegetables!) meal. It's a program that helps to achieve a healthy weight quickly, and pairs clients with (free!) health coaches from the beginning to teach them how to maintain that weight (as) easily (as possible).
So that brings us here. I have started my journey to better (optimal!) health. June 1, 2015 is DAY ONE. I wanted to start this blog as a helpful tool for myself. I've always been a writer, and I want to publish my food journal to remind myself why I'm doing this and help myself to continue. If I publish my daily food journal, I think it will help me to reaffirm my own beliefs in the program even when the times are hard. It will give me something to do and create yet another measurable form of progress (I'll start by whining, and perhaps it will gradually decrease.). And perhaps, if anyone EVER finds and reads this, it will help them too. (Hi!)
I know that I don't have it that rough. Yes, the road was rough FOR ME, because I was between a rock and a hard place in my head. I didn't want to come out in the open because I felt better staying in my hole with my spoon in my ice cream (Ice cream knowwwsss meeeee and I looovvveee itttt). There are people out there surviving worse situations with better attitudes. I fell into a funk and I'm ready to get out of it. So lets go! Lets do it together. If I can do it, you can do it.
Without further ado, here is my food journal for day 1. I will preface by saying this is hand-written in a notebook at the time of consumption, and I will type it verbatim. (Perhaps I will add parenthesis for present comments on these past experiences. Good idea Sarah. Thanks Sarah!)
DAY 1: SUCCESS IS ON THE HORIZON! (Yes, I really wrote that. Shutup.)
4:50 AM: Medifast Cappuccino
I poured my first packet into my mug and brewed a Starbucks K-cup into it in lieu of using cold water and the microwave. I took about 20 minutes to dirnk it, and it wasn't bad. I hit some powdery sediment at the bottom, but that was to be expected. I feel so full right now!
I'm starting my first day with a positive outlook on what the next few months will bring. I KNOW I can do this. Work will be an obstacle, but I WILL persevere.
I boiled water this morning to add to my soup in my new thermos - looking forward to that.
8:10 AM: Medifast Chocolate Mint Crunch Bar
Thank God. I was just getting hungry. This is delicious! Good minty flavor. I've been cleaning out the freezer and was almost tempted by some mousse spheres, but I knew better. (Yes, mousse spheres. I have a very fancy job, okay? Do you have mousse spheres? God, I wanted to eat those mousse spheres.) Drinking lots of water today and still facing the day with a positive attitude.
11:20 AM: Medifast Chicken and Rice Soup
I was just getting really hungry again. Sitting in the lunch room. Had no problem bypassing the line today (Side note: At my big fancy hotel, we have a big, free, fancy buffet for employees every day. Includes two types of protein entrees, rice, full salad bar, and a few warm side dishes. Examples: oxtail, prime rib [yes, fresh carved.], lasagna, pho, chicken wings, bahn mi, and the occasional Dante's Inferno hot dog cart for very special occasions... [my mouth is watering. I need to stop.]) Sitting by myself - nobody on shift with me. Does not pose a challenge today, but may in the future when I can see what my coworkers are eating. While working, there were a few times I wanted to taste things or clean off the spoon before throwing it in the garbage (they call it a tasting spoon for a reason!), but the internal dialogue from Dr. A's book kept me from doing it. Keep going - the first step is the hardest! And day 1 is already half over! I can do this!!! (Each word is underlined three times in my journal - no accurate way to portray this. For mental visual purposes, please envision 3rd grader hand-writing with three fancy, sharp straight lines underlining for emphasis!)
11:50 - I'm still hungry after the soup. It's to be expected. Must stay strong. Walking after work will be a no-go today.
(I realized after typing this that there was no review of the soup. It was good!)
1:55 PM: Medifast BBQ Bites
I'm starving. I've been drinking a lot of water today and I think the combination of that and my nearly 15,000 steps (#fitbit!) at work today have pushed everything through and I've already burned what I've eaten today. I can do it. About to enjoy my BBQ bites. I hope they're good!
Verdict: they're really not bad. Could be worse. And there are quite a few in the bag. Thank goodness.
5:00 PM: Medifast Dutch Chocolate Shake
I was getting really hungry but kept myself busy and kept my goals in mind. This shake freaking TASTES LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK. I love it. I want to say this will be easy - I know it won't - but it's certainly looking more doable considering how good the food is so far.
Tilapia and veggies coming up for dinner.
(Side note.. I think I will start putting asterisks for every time I have to get up and pee while blogging. Holy moly. My shift and 8 keys will start wearing out... Yikes.)
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8:30 PM: Lean and Green Meal
Baked tilapia (lean), 2 cups romaine + 1/2 cup mushrooms (3 daily servings of green), lemon juice on tilapia (1/2 condiment), salt, pepper, garlic powder (1/2 condiment), 2 tbsp. raspberry vinaigrette (1 condiment), 2 tsp. olive oil (healthy fats).
Tilapia was delicious!! I've only had it once or twice, but this was better than I ever remember it tasting! (I never ate fish when I was younger - I thought it was so gross. I never started eating it until about late 2013 when I was in the middle of my skinny thyroid cyst phase). My new program-approved dressing was delicious and the roasted mushrooms were divine. Still hungry, but I'll live. Here's to tomorrow!!
I treated myself to my optional snack before bed. Bad Sarah. Good popcicle! (Yes, it was sugar-free!)
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Okay, so that was day 1! Scary as it was, it wasn't that scary. My health coach is on top of things. She sent me an email on day 1 that told me what to anticipate for the first few days of the program, so I braced myself for the coming storm! Stay tuned for day two. :)
Thanks for reading, stalker!
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