4:50 AM: Medifast Cappuccino
I'm feeling so good this morning! That chicken just put me in a great moood. I felt energized walking to the train station, and I'm hoping it continues throughout the day. I'm trying the cappuccino again today. Gloria said if mixing it with coffee will help with my headache, then I can go ahead and do it. The program suggests that coffee should not exceed about 400 ml. Your body reacts differently to caffeine when you drastically reduce your caloric intake. So I mixed it with coffee again to prevent getting a headache like I had yesterday. I'm used to having them, as typically that's what happens when I eat gluten. But I shouldn't have to live with them! They're painful. Cappuccino, however, is delicious.
I swore I wouldn't weigh myself until the evening of day 3. I almost did it this morning but I talked myself out of it. I CAN have will-power. If I say I'm not going to do it until the evening of day 3 and that's my goal, then I'm not doing it until day 3! I try to convince myself that I'm the adult and I can do what I want, and so what if I said that before.. doesn't mean I have to listen to myself... I try to talk myself into believing that whatever state of mind I'm in when I'm arguing with myself is a better state of mind than I had when I made my goal. I hardly believe it. I know it's better for me if I don't weigh myself. I know I'm capable of waiting, but I'm subconsciously hoping for some type of instant gratification or result. I don't do well with that information. I'll probably try to treat myself with ice cream or something as a reward for doing well and sabotage my progress altogether. (Side note: First weigh-in has been postponed to Monday!)
I have to maintain control. This is like that awkward stage people go through after a bad haircut. I know what I want my end game to be. I just have a hard time getting there because every time I look in the mirror, I don't see any change I can work with yet. Those who shaved one side of their head and kept the rest long for the Skrillex era know what I'm talking about. Some probably decided the next goal was to have long, voluptuous locks and they had to be patient while that part of their hair grows back. They can achieve it, but honestly, for a while, it never seems like it's going anywhere and they probably almost would rather shave it off than wait forever for it to grow back! I look and see a heavy me in the mirror, and while it hurts, it's the easier option much of the time. So I have to go through my awkward stage, which unfortunately can only be compared to a mullet because that is honestly the only style the Skrillex has-beens can have while they're growing their hair out.
Here's to better health and a wonderful day 3!
8:40 AM: Medifast Mixed Berry Cereal Crunch
Whew. I got in the middle of a project and now I'm eating super late. This cereal is delicious! I've been feeling so good this morning. I started getting hungry about an hour ago, but I couldn't get away. I'm hoping the feeling continues! Positive vibes!
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I'm being so nice today like something is wrong with me. I can't even be angry for some reason. I've been so negative and irritable for months. Then today, I just have this rush of happiness that I haven't felt in a long time. Is this what healthy feels like? I've forgotten. Here's to hoping it will continue!
11:30 AM: Medifast Vegetarian Sloppy Joe
I still feel good! This is awesome. I put my slippy joe mix in my thermos like I did my soups - online suggestions say to soak it, so I figured that would be the easiest way. It's a little cold now, but I'm still eating it. It's delicious! I really like the chili flavor of this one. It's quite good! And bold. I like the texture of this better than the crab soup for sure.
I'm working on a tasting at work (see photo!), which can be a trying activity. Every item that gets sent out is basically putting out our sales pitch for a big function. So the plating is gorgeous, and each detail is carefully perfected. Along with that, if it's an item we haven't made or is different from the norm', we have to taste it to ensure it's what we're looking for, is good enough to send out, and follows the requests of the clients. Well, I was challenged today: caramel mousse. (As you can see, it's piped into a cup made of chocolate. And it's layered also with chocolate mousse. And topped with vanilla bean whipped cream and caramelized cocoa nibs. You're welcome.) Where was I again? Oh. Caramel mousse. Good God. In a normal situation, I used to taste it... then if it was good, I would have a few large spoons. I have to challenge myself to be satisfied with just a taste. It's not there for me to eat. I've gotten out of control on several occasions - sometimes I used to just go in the walk-in (refrigerator, for you non-culinary speakin' folks) and eat something off a sheet pan. If it was good (or even not!), I would go back a few more times. It was just delicious and convenient. And I felt like because it was there, it needed to be eaten so it didn't go to waste. I felt like I couldn't control myself. I need to fix it. I've done well since I started the program, but I need to maintain that control. If I'm afraid I'll lose it, I just might. If I'm not afraid and I just tell myself I won't, maybe I'll just live up to that. I need to put myself into a healthy state of mind. Not only that, but I need to stay in it!
I CAN DO IT!
2:00 PM: Medifast S'more Crunch Bar
Well I could die happy in this moment. This is delicious. I just started getting really hungry. I'm staying at work late and it's taking more out of me than the last few short days. I almost got the munchies (due to Major Delicious Item Exposure. MDIE... you heard of it? You might get tested.) but I resisted. I'm trying to drink water when I get a craving and it helps a little bit. I'm not even really wanting to eat things - it's just a habit. I know they're available and I CAN eat them. I just have to choose not to and be happy with it. One more meal and my lean and green to go. Must stay on track. I think I'll go for the popcicle tonight!
5:00 PM: Medifast Triple Berry Smoothie
My health coach is a genius. She said this smoothie was the bomb and I could just hug her right square in the face right now. I blended it up in the ninja for a long time so it got all whippy (technical term.). All that's left in the glass at this point is the foam, and I'm savoring it. Much like the S'mores bar, I don't want this experience to be over ever.
You know when you're standing in front of a crowd, or you're having a conversation with a group of people and you have no idea what to do with your hands? Well, I think I hit a fat stage in my life where I didn't know what to do with my mouth; not just in front of people, but in general. If I wasn't eating, I felt like I should be. Or I should be drinking something or chewing a piece of gum or having a jolly rancher or talking or something. I think I was just bored for the most part.
Let's say two couples go to watch a movie: one couple has popcorn, the other couple does not. When the movie ends, we ask for a review of the film. Which couple do you think is more excited about it? Duh, the popcorn people. The other people haven't eaten and they're starving and have no extra energy to exert into an exciting review. And also, the popcorn people had a way more fun time because it was delicious and they had an interactive activity to partake in during the movie. I personally have chosen the popcorn lifestyle; why just walk to the fridge to get the stuff for your project when you can walk to the fridge, get stuff for your project AND enjoy a delicious nibble of something scrumptious? Scrumptious nibbles win every time.
I have one more meal to go for the evening. I think I'll kick back and have a short nap really quick. I'm making taco salad for dinner! Yay! Be back soon!
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