Day 7: June 7, 2015

8:40 AM: Medifast Original Eggs

Another day of the eggs - it's silly when all my days string together. All the days start looking the same! This morning, I added a little bit of parsley to my eggs and scrambled them! They weren't too bad. They still have a little bit of that weird taste to me, but from what I hear, the southwest eggs are worse. I'll just have to find a way to make these even better!

Busy day ahead: heading down to the boyfriend's parents house to do a little furniture project. We were told to bring our laundry too, so we have a lot to do!

10:50 AM: Mixed Berry Cereal Crunch

Eating on the go! I was riding passenger in the car on the way to his parents house and enjoying my second meal of the day. This cereal is fantastic. It doesn't even bother me that it doesn't have milk or anything in it. It's very good! I'm trying to figure out how they get all that stuff in there....

12:50 PM: Medifast Fruit and Nut Crunch Bar

Eating a few bites between coats of spray paint on our furniture project. This bar didn't have as many peanuts as the last one I had, but it's still delicious! Even with a little bit of spray paint on it. 

I'm spending a lot of time in the sun today. Walking a lot between working on our tables and doing the laundry. Man, it's hot out this year! I hope it doesn't get any worse!

2:45 PM: Medifast Honey Mustard Pretzels

I've loved these since the first time I had them. I'm so glad! They're the only item I have that isn't gluten free and I haven't had a reaction to them at all. S ate a piece of pizza in front of me and I wasn't even mad because I got to eat pretzels! :)

His parents offered to have us over for dinner and I was a little anxious. His mom has been so gracious to me throughout the last few years with my odd array of food issues. She usually assembles a Caesar salad with a kit, but this time she put everything separate so I could measure out my portion. So kind!

5 oz Salmon (1 Lean)
1 1/2 cups Romaine Lettuce
1 tsp. Butter (already on salmon - I know I'm not supposed to eat fats with this protein!)
1 tbsp. Caesar dressing (this was the only part she put on - I know I'm not supposed to eat fats with this protein!)
1 tsp. herbs (1 condiment)

The meal was very close to being on plan. I was grateful and I did pretty well with what I had to stay on plan. I knew the size of the piece of salmon I was allowed to eat, and I think it all went very well! I was able to eat family dinner with success!

After dinner, his mom dished up strawberry shortcakes for them. Pound cake muffins from Costco, fresh strawberries and scoops of ice cream. We all sat around the table and it didn't even bother me that they were eating it! It looked good, but I knew what it would do to me if I ate it. I don't miss the migraines and the nausea from eating gluten and dairy. His mom felt bad that they were eating it in front of me and I told her not to even worry about it. It should get better over time, I hope! I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me at all!

11:00 PM: Medifast French Vanilla Shake

When I sleep in instead of going to work early, I feel like I stay up so late eating! I guess if I legitimately ate every 2 hours, it wouldn't be so bad. This shake is delicious. I added a few extra ice cubes and it's basically like ice cream. I'm loving it! 

Day 6: June 6, 2015

8:50 AM: Medifast Original Eggs

Round two with the eggs - this time, I used percentage of a condiment to add a tiny little bit of sriracha to them. Killer! The texture is still a little odd, but I'll get over it eventually. Once I'm done with breakfast, I have a thyroid seminar to go to and my TSFL coach is tagging along! Should be fun!

11:00 AM: Medifast Mocha Shake

I blended this up before I was supposed to leave for the seminar and let it sit in the freezer because it wasn't quite time yet to have it. It worked out really well! I drank it in the car on the way to the seminar and was able to clean my cup out at the hotel prior to the seminar beginning. The seminar is supposed to be 3 hours, so I timed it so I could have my shake at the beginning and I'll eat once it's over. It worked out very well just as planned!

As I said in my very first blog post, I have an auto-immune condition called Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. My friend and coach told me about the seminar when she heard about it on the radio and I got us tickets to go. It explained a lot of interesting information about thyroid conditions in general. It was run by a doctor, and he seemed very knowledgeable and passionate about the subject. Having been through public speaking, I understood just where he was going once he got started. He made everyone in the room feel as though they were suffering from this problem, hitting their emotional triggers and getting them all involved. Then he explained how the medical industry doesn't recognize a lot of the symptoms yet, because they're different for everyone, and that the medicines don't really do much for people suffering from many of these conditions and that doctors won't do much beyond medication to ensure we're taken care of. So nearing the end, we're all aware we have this problem and we feel like we have nowhere to go.. until.... he says that for the small price of about 400 dollars, we can sit in his office with him for 2 hours and he can solve all of our problems! Well, that's unfortunate.

I already know what's wrong with me. I have Hashimoto's. Tell me how to fix it!

Oh well. It was a good bit of information, and very informative. And I guess I know that if I ever feel the need to delve deeper into it, I can spend 400 dollars and get tested.

12:50 PM: Medifast Strawberry Crunch Bar

After the seminar, my coach and I headed to Subway right outside the hotel and grab some lunch. She got a sandwich and I ate my bar. She forgot to pack her own bars, and had missed a meal between breakfast and lunch. I was perfectly content eating my bar as we recapped the seminar. We started to head home and decided to go to the mall to get some walking in. This is one of the hottest summers we've had in Washington in a few years, and walking on the beach like we usually do would be murder suicide. We walked through the nice air conditioned mall for a little while and then headed home.

4:30 PM: Medifast Triple Berry Smoothie

What a tasty and delicious treat to have while there is blistering heat outside! Got this one a little late just because I think I was unwinding from the seminar and not handling the heat well. I took a little nap and finally got up to have my smoothie. Whew.

We had to stop at the store and run a couple errands for dinner, but we ended up having... (see picture)

7 oz. Mahi Mahi (1 Lean)
1 cup Asparagus (2/3 Green)
1/2 cup Red Peppers (1/3 Green)
1/2 tsp. total of paprika, salt, pepper (1 condiment)

I baked it in a parchment pouch and it actually turned out really good! I've never had mahi mahi before; I didn't like it as much as I like salmon and tilapia, but it was still quite delicious. I want to learn some other recipes to make it!

11:00 PM: Medifast Dutch Chocolate Shake

Need I say more? Delicious chocolate shakes are delicious.  

Day 5: June 5, 2015

7:00 AM: Medifast Original Eggs

Ahhh, feels so good to sleep in! This was my first time trying the Medifast eggs. I don't know how I feel about microwaving them, so I don't like making them before work. I reserved them specifically for my days off, and this is the first day since I started the program that I've had off! I used a little bit of pepper to spice up the liquid before pouring it into my pan. I made a rather pretty omelet out of it, and it wasn't bad. The texture is a little bit interesting and may take some time to get used to. There is also an interesting taste there, but it's nothing I can't handle.

Today, I am spending the day with a friend of mine whom I used to work with. She and I are both hardcore foodies and usually we spend a lot of time talking about it! Hopefully it goes well and doesn't make me too hungry. I told her when I started the program so she knows that I can't eat out or anything. Before I left, I took some pictures of my cat in the sunshine. What a beautiful day! Looks like a good day to be successful!

9:45 AM: Medifast Cinnamon Roll Crunch Bar

Holy moly. This was the first time having the Cinnamon Roll Crunch Bar. It's fabulous. Yum! My first lesson learned with days off is to always carry my stuff with me! My friend and I were shopping in Whole Foods for about two hours - she's never been! - I was hitting my time and I felt it would be rude if I left to go out to the car and get my food. Thankfully, my boyfriend needed us to pick him up and take him to work due to car trouble and it gave me the opportunity to get in the car and get my food. I'm definitely staying hydrated today, but not as well as I do at work. Just pluggin' along!

1:30 PM: Medifast Chocolate Mint Crunch Bar

I got my meal a little bit late this time. My friend was hungry and wanted to go to teriyaki. I was being polite and waiting for her to get her food prior to diving into my bar. I'm really proud of myself at this juncture; she's eating teriyaki beef, rice, and cabbage right in front of me and I'm doing really well at controlling the urge I have to pick a piece of beef off her plate. I just sat and drank coffee water while we ate and talked. It went really well! It was really nice to catch up with her throughout the day. We went to Whole Foods, a produce stand, and just some basic running around.

5:30 PM: Medifast BBQ Bites

I got this meal sooo late. I left it in the car when I dropped off my friend, thinking I would only be inside for a moment to say goodbye. She talked a lot and I didn't feel it appropriate to excuse myself to go get my food and continue. I kept trying to leave, but then another conversation would spark up and continue for a while. Once I left, I finally got to eat my BBQ bites, thank goodness. My coach and I decided to go for a little walk at the park, and I felt better once I ate. Whew.

Once I finally got home, I had to take a shower really quick and head up to pick my boyfriend up from work. I got him and we ran to the grocery store to pick up some protein for dinner. I didn't plan dinner for this day because it was depending on what I got at the produce stand. I got some asparagus and wasn't able to pull anything out of the freezer to thaw for dinner. So he and I stopped on the way home and got a few little steaks to bake up. Since my meals were spaced so badly and my coach and I walked, my blood sugar was running a little bit low. I had to push through to be able to get everything made and sit down to eat before I said the wrong thing. I get really cranky when I get that way, and rather unpleasant if I do say so myself. Finally, for dinner I had...

5 oz. Lean Steak (1 lean)
1/2 cup mushrooms (1/3 green)
1 cup asparagus (2/3 green)
1 tsp. steak seasoning (2 condiments)
1/2 tsp. worcestershire (1 condiment)

It was delicious, sinful, and I was glad it was on plan. Amazing!

Since my meals were planned out badly, I had to stay up to eat my last one...

11:00 PM: Medifast Pineapple Mango Smoothie

YUM! This was my first time having this smoothie and it was incredible. Definitely loving this flavor!! I love adding the ice to my smoothies and shakes for the texture. It's like getting something from Sonic or something and I feel really bad that the boyfriend doesn't get all the delicious goodies I get. :)

Day one of 4 day weekend could have gone better. I learned that I must always carry my foods with me - even into buildings or homes, and not just leave them in my car. I must also learn how to politely excuse myself to eat when the time is appropriate. Here's hoping all goes well tomorrow!

 

Day 4: June 4, 2015

4:50 AM: Medifast Orange Blend

Today is one of those days! I'm tired! And I'm tired anticipating my day ahead - I start at 6, end my shift at 2, then I'm volunteering from 3-7 - that's 13 hours of activity! I planned my meals accordingly and grabbed an extra bar in case I don't make it home at a decent time for my lean and green. My work day has been draining enough as it is with all the walking I do. My work has Garden Burgers if all else fails. That's what we're planning on having for dinner anyways.

I had to make my orange blend really quickly this morning because I was running late. I think there are some sediment chunks. Oh well... texture! (Insert ick face here...) I think today will be a challenge. It feels like one of those days I've had before where I eat everything in sight. I will overcome this. I honestly think I'm having withdrawal from food addiction! (No, seriously.) (Seriously.) I will persevere!

8:20 AM: Medifast Cinnamon and Brown Sugar Cereal

I'm not in the greatest mood today. I'm trying! I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm tired and I feel a headache coming on and off, but it hasn't fully settled in. I hope this cereal helps! I was surprised how much was in there when I opened the bag! The draft of air that came whooshing out of the bag smelled fantastic and it tastes quite good too. I'm hungry! I just want to eat a big plate of steak! With mushrooms! And a sunny side up egg on top! I'll have to plan a meal that way. Maybe a small steak with one egg. Or maybe it would be good on my veggie patties! Instead of eating 2. Today is rough. I'm stressed because of what's going on at work. Stress makes me want to eat endlessly. These are the situations I need to learn to cope with without using food as a vice. This shit is getting real! Booooo.

11:10 AM: Medifast Maryland Crab Style Soup

This honestly isn't that bad this time around. It's warmer because I filled my thermos at work this time. Good method! I'm still not in very good spirits this morning. I'm hoping it improves soon. I think I'll get more coffee after lunch and see if it helps a little bit. Hopefully I'll get some sleep on my upcoming four day weekend. 

3:30 PM: Medifast Honey Mustard Pretzels

My journal entries ended here because I got so busy! The rest of the night was a blur. When I got off work at 2, I ran around like a crazy person trying to find the food for the volunteer function, find the chef who was giving me a ride, and get ready to head up to the location! I was supposed to eat at 2:30, but I was actually holding a crate in the car that prevented me from eating while he was driving. Once we got there and got set up, I went and found my backpack and opened my little bag of pretzels. I walked back occasionally to eat a few while I was working just to make sure I got them eaten. I chose this snack because it's a little higher in carbohydrates and I needed all the energy in the world to finish this workday!

The volunteer event I was participating in was making dinner for the residents at the Ronald McDonald House of Seattle. Our Seattle Sheraton team got together to cook and serve the meal, put together crafts with the kids, and clean the kitchen once we were done. It really was a very rewarding experience and a joy to see our team come together to serve such a great cause. We got a tour around the house and got to see how these patients get taken care of, and I have to say that it was just a phenomenal place and I was so proud to be there. If you don't know about it, the Ronald McDonald House was built to house families with children undergoing treatment at the Children's Hospital in Seattle. They have to live outside of the city of Seattle. They have big rooms to house up to 6 people, and most of the time they can't afford to pay the 30 dollars per night for the room because of the costs of the treatment, but the costs are covered. Food, games, and other amenities are donated for the residents. They have full kitchen privileges, each with their own refrigerator and cupboard to use, along with all the food and drinks they would like to fill them with. There are play areas, teen areas, a movie theater, a workout gym for the parents, and a media library to check out games, movies, and consoles to take to their room and share with their families. It was a beautiful facility and it was so awesome to see the joy on their faces as they ate the dinner we provided!

As part of being a volunteer, we also got a small break and a plate of the food we provided. Macaroni and cheese, beef tenderloin, halibut, vegetables, salad, fruit, brownies, and nutter butter cookies (see photo!)(Everything was Dr. Seuss themed, and the cookies were The Lorax.) I politely declined all offers for tasting and plates of food. I was offered food several times, and it was noticed that I did not take a break to eat by many, who were concerned for my well being! I told them I was fine and waited for the time to come around to eat my next Medifast meal. I did dishes and kept myself busy!

6:45 Medifast Fruit and Nut Bar

This was my first time for the fruit and nut bar and it was fantastic! It had a really good flavor to it and I loved the occasional burst of peanut flavor! I used to sit on the couch and eat apples with peanut butter all the time. I miss that peanut butter flavor for sure, so I'm glad one of my items has it! I'll definitely have to order some of the peanut butter soft serve next time!

Once all was said and done, I was excited to head home. I bid farewell to my chef who drove home and began to contemplate dinner. I knew we were having veggie patties, but I was craving eggs... What I ended up eating was...

1+1/3 MorningStar Farms Veggie Patty (2/3) (Leanest - I get 2 Healthy fats....)
1 Egg (1/3 Lean) (Lean - I get no healthy fats...)
1 tsp Olive Oil (I went with the middle - 1 healthy fat!)
Salt/Pepper (1 condiment)
1 1/2 cups Summer Squash (3 Green)

I put my veggie patty in the middle of my plate, built the sauteed squash up around it, and put my egg on top of the patty in the middle. Yum. I broke that yolk all over everything and it was so delicious. I was amazed that it was on plan because it felt so naughty! Perfect end to the day!

Four day weekend, here we go!

Day 3: June 3, 2015

Day 3: June 3, 2015

4:50 AM: Medifast Cappuccino

I'm feeling so good this morning! That chicken just put me in a great moood. I felt energized walking to the train station, and I'm hoping it continues throughout the day. I'm trying the cappuccino again today. Gloria said if mixing it with coffee will help with my headache, then I can go ahead and do it. The program suggests that coffee should not exceed about 400 ml. Your body reacts differently to caffeine when you drastically reduce your caloric intake. So I mixed it with coffee again to prevent getting a headache like I had yesterday. I'm used to having them, as typically that's what happens when I eat gluten. But I shouldn't have to live with them! They're painful. Cappuccino, however, is delicious.

I swore I wouldn't weigh myself until the evening of day 3. I almost did it this morning but I talked myself out of it. I CAN have will-power. If I say I'm not going to do it until the evening of day 3 and that's my goal, then I'm not doing it until day 3! I try to convince myself that I'm the adult and I can do what I want, and so what if I said that before.. doesn't mean I have to listen to myself... I try to talk myself into believing that whatever state of mind I'm in when I'm arguing with myself is a better state of mind than I had when I made my goal. I hardly believe it. I know it's better for me if I don't weigh myself. I know I'm capable of waiting, but I'm subconsciously hoping for some type of instant gratification or result. I don't do well with that information. I'll probably try to treat myself with ice cream or something as a reward for doing well and sabotage my progress altogether. (Side note: First weigh-in has been postponed to Monday!)

I have to maintain control. This is like that awkward stage people go through after a bad haircut. I know what I want my end game to be. I just have a hard time getting there because every time I look in the mirror, I don't see any change I can work with yet. Those who shaved one side of their head and kept the rest long for the Skrillex era know what I'm talking about. Some probably decided the next goal was to have long, voluptuous locks and they had to be patient while that part of their hair grows back. They can achieve it, but honestly, for a while, it never seems like it's going anywhere and they probably almost would rather shave it off than wait forever for it to grow back! I look and see a heavy me in the mirror, and while it hurts, it's the easier option much of the time. So I have to go through my awkward stage, which unfortunately can only be compared to a mullet because that is honestly the only style the Skrillex has-beens can have while they're growing their hair out.

Here's to better health and a wonderful day 3!

8:40 AM: Medifast Mixed Berry Cereal Crunch

Whew. I got in the middle of a project and now I'm eating super late. This cereal is delicious! I've been feeling so good this morning. I started getting hungry about an hour ago, but I couldn't get away. I'm hoping the feeling continues! Positive vibes!

* 

I'm being so nice today like something is wrong with me. I can't even be angry for some reason. I've been so negative and irritable for months. Then today, I just have this rush of happiness that I haven't felt in a long time. Is this what healthy feels like? I've forgotten. Here's to hoping it will continue!

11:30 AM: Medifast Vegetarian Sloppy Joe

I still feel good! This is awesome. I put my slippy joe mix in my thermos like I did my soups - online suggestions say to soak it, so I figured that would be the easiest way. It's a little cold now, but I'm still eating it. It's delicious! I really like the chili flavor of this one. It's quite good! And bold. I like the texture of this better than the crab soup for sure.

I'm working on a tasting at work (see photo!), which can be a trying activity. Every item that gets sent out is basically putting out our sales pitch for a big function. So the plating is gorgeous, and each detail is carefully perfected. Along with that, if it's an item we haven't made or is different from the norm', we have to taste it to ensure it's what we're looking for, is good enough to send out, and follows the requests of the clients. Well, I was challenged today: caramel mousse. (As you can see, it's piped into a cup made of chocolate. And it's layered also with chocolate mousse. And topped with vanilla bean whipped cream and caramelized cocoa nibs. You're welcome.) Where was I again? Oh. Caramel mousse. Good God. In a normal situation, I used to taste it... then if it was good, I would have a few large spoons. I have to challenge myself to be satisfied with just a taste. It's not there for me to eat. I've gotten out of control on several occasions - sometimes I used to just go in the walk-in (refrigerator, for you non-culinary speakin' folks) and eat something off a sheet pan. If it was good (or even not!), I would go back a few more times. It was just delicious and convenient. And I felt like because it was there, it needed to be eaten so it didn't go to waste. I felt like I couldn't control myself. I need to fix it. I've done well since I started the program, but I need to maintain that control. If I'm afraid I'll lose it, I just might. If I'm not afraid and I just tell myself I won't, maybe I'll just live up to that. I need to put myself into a healthy state of mind. Not only that, but I need to stay in it!

I CAN DO IT!

2:00 PM: Medifast S'more Crunch Bar

Well I could die happy in this moment. This is delicious. I just started getting really hungry. I'm staying at work late and it's taking more out of me than the last few short days. I almost got the munchies (due to Major Delicious Item Exposure. MDIE... you heard of it? You might get tested.) but I resisted. I'm trying to drink water when I get a craving and it helps a little bit. I'm not even really wanting to eat things - it's just a habit. I know they're available and I CAN eat them. I just have to choose not to and be happy with it. One more meal and my lean and green to go. Must stay on track. I think I'll go for the popcicle tonight!

5:00 PM: Medifast Triple Berry Smoothie

My health coach is a genius. She said this smoothie was the bomb and I could just hug her right square in the face right now. I blended it up in the ninja for a long time so it got all whippy (technical term.). All that's left in the glass at this point is the foam, and I'm savoring it. Much like the S'mores bar, I don't want this experience to be over ever.

You know when you're standing in front of a crowd, or you're having a conversation with a group of people and you have no idea what to do with your hands? Well, I think I hit a fat stage in my life where I didn't know what to do with my mouth; not just in front of people, but in general. If I wasn't eating, I felt like I should be. Or I should be drinking something or chewing a piece of gum or having a jolly rancher or talking or something. I think I was just bored for the most part.

Let's say two couples go to watch a movie: one couple has popcorn, the other couple does not. When the movie ends, we ask for a review of the film. Which couple do you think is more excited about it? Duh, the popcorn people. The other people haven't eaten and they're starving and have no extra energy to exert into an exciting review. And also, the popcorn people had a way more fun time because it was delicious and they had an interactive activity to partake in during the movie. I personally have chosen the popcorn lifestyle; why just walk to the fridge to get the stuff for your project when you can walk to the fridge, get stuff for your project AND enjoy a delicious nibble of something scrumptious? Scrumptious nibbles win every time.

I have one more meal to go for the evening. I think I'll kick back and have a short nap really quick. I'm making taco salad for dinner! Yay! Be back soon!

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Day 2: June 2, 2015

4:30 AM: Medifast Orange Blend

Feeling pretty good - got up at my first alarm instead of waiting for the second one. I have a headache setting in this morning. There's a storm of hunger coming on! I can feel it! Started the morning with the orange blend and it wasn't so terrible - quite refreshing actually. I had small powder pockets - I think I'll start following the advice I'm seeing on the tips and tricks websites and dissolve the powder entirely in a small amount of water before adding the rest.

I'll be in learning mode for a while for sure! I think the lean and green so far was the meal I had to reference my book the most for - understandably. I was afraid of doing too much of everything. Cooking comes so natural to me now - it's hard to think about measuring every little thing. I guess that's how I got into this mess to begin with. Here's to a good day, a successful beginning, and better health! (Don't be mad because I'm so positive! I'm trying to keep my own positivity in line! GET ON MY LEVEL!)

7:50 AM: Medifast Strawberry Crunch Bar

I got busy at work and got my snack a little late this morning. This bar isn't terrible, but I like the mint chocolate better! My headache finally set in; I'm trying to ignore it. I was really hungry. I'm glad I sat down to have my bar! It'll be better in a few days. Keep on truckin'!

11:00 AM: Medifast Maryland Style Crab Soup

I waited too  long. I got to working on too many projects and had to finish them before I could step out for lunch. This soup isn't awful. Crab soup isn't normally my thing, but it was free with the Be Slim Club order! :) (I apologize in advance - every time I type "crab" it comes out initially as "crap" - I really did not eat crap for lunch, and I will try to watch for it, but I may miss one or two. Hahaha.). I let it soak all day in my thermos, but since I ate so late it was a little cold. I nuked it. I'm glad it's not the best-tasting soup ever. It will help me eat it more slowly. :)

1:45 PM: Medifast Honey Mustard Pretzel Sticks

Headache is finally subsiding after some excedrin. I'm still hungry, but surviving. It will get better. I have no energy at this point. May just have to take a nap when I get home. Hope these pretzels help...

...OMG. They're delicious! Like Gardetto's! Yum!!

4:50 PM: Medifast Vanilla Shake

Welcome to real-time, folks! I'm drinking this shake as I blog (see photo). While the fancy welcome kit comes with a blender cup, I personally prefer to use my Ninja! I threw some ice in there, some water, and the packet of goodness. It tastes like ice cream. :) When it's gone, I get sad. That's saying something about the food, don't you think?

-- 

Since I haven't made my lean and green yet for the day, let's have some real talk while we wait for my manfriend to get home. Today has been hard so far. My schedule at work is really inconsistent. Some days I start at 5, some days I start at 7, some days I start at 9... It's the life of a food service worker. So it's hard to stay on a plan where I have to eat every few hours. I don't have set breaks; sometimes my break clumps together with my lunch, and it's taken anywhere from two hours after I begin to EIGHT hours after I begin - it all depends on how the day is running. Some days I work 5 hours, some days I work 15. I never get as much sleep as I'm supposed to. (I've always been someone who needs very little sleep to operate - and I've still always been pleasant! ^.^) That all being said, today my meals were spread very far apart. I start projects at work and sometimes they take more than 2-3 hours to complete before I can take a break. I'm hoping that this won't hinder me from being successful on the plan.

Yesterday, I was doing some perusing. I was only on day one of the plan and I was already nervous about having a limited amount of options. I was looking up recipes that people are making with two or three food packets - combine the packets to make something delicious, then divide the product into two or three packets to make separate meals. Some of the stuff people come up with is pretty interesting. I came across this youtuber named Kristina. She's a Take Shape For Life coach who has gone through the program and transformation herself (as with most coaches). I watched a few of her videos, and found her to be kind of... well.. bitchy-sounding. One of her videos entitled Medifast Recipes really kind of rubbed me the wrong way until I really thought about it. She said essentially that people who combine their packets to make different foods are stupid because they're defeating the purpose entirely of being on the diet. They're trying to make foods that resemble other foods and kicking the cravings back into gear for those real foods. I was thinking she was really snooty for saying that in the first place, but then I realized.. she's right. Yes, I can see making a few changes to things, or trying a few recipes to get rid of a box of something (Please, someone have a recipe to make the crab soup better... PLEASE!), but I can see where someone could get off track by repeatedly altering the packets to make them into something different.

That being said, for now, I think I will stick with the packets instead of seeking some sort of variety. I was getting ahead of myself looking in the first place. (I haven't even tried everything I have yet! It's only day 2!) I was just so frightened before I even got into the nitty gritty of it that I was going to get bored with the food. I think that's an obstacle that I need to overcome in order to be successful. Kristina also made another point: She used to be severely overweight as well, and she made a confession that she was in love with food and had to basically go through the program to change the way she felt about food. I'm the same way.

I  love food. I like to make it, have my hands in it, display it, and, most of all, eat it. I never really appreciated true food until I got my job at the hotel. I didn't appreciate medium rare steak or a sunny-side up egg. Now I have them at my disposal all the time, and I took advantage of it constantly. Making breakfast on my days off is my favorite thing to do. I love to make S breakfast. (S is manfriend!). One of my favorite things to make is just toasted bread with butter, with a sunny-side up or over-easy egg on top, then topped with whatever we have. Green onions and jalapeno ketchup? Sure. Salsa and leftover taco meat? Hell yeah. It can be done any way, honestly. But the way the bread soaks up the egg yolk is just so satisfying and delicious. I'm also a master of the "leftovers omelet". It could be the day after thanksgiving, and I'll figure out how to saute the leftovers and mix some eggs in there for a fluffy, delicious post-thanksgiving omelet. The best food on the planet is a pizza omelet (stop judging me! Don't knock it until you try it!). Take leftover pizza (stuffed crust, baby!) and cut it into pieces. Put a little bit of olive oil in your pan and throw the slice of cut up pizza in there. Heat it up until it's browning a little and the cheese is melted. Then pour some whisked eggs in there, and omelet it up, baby! Doesn't even need anything on top. Biting into that cheesy piece of pizza in your eggs is an incredible experience.

See? I get carried away. I work with food. I have this undeniable relationship with food where it understands me and I understand it. We just get along. I go on trips to eat food. I have social interactions where I eat food and use that as the reason for meeting. When I look back on it, there are several social interactions where I've almost regretted the meeting, but enjoyed the food! I associate it with holidays and family interactions. It's really everywhere. It's hard to get down to the DNA and reprogram my relationship with food when I literally am around it all the time. I'm willing to accept the challenge, but I think it will be difficult. It's hard to sit here and think about not ever having a pizza omelet again, but then I look at it from the other perspective (only for a moment.. god pizza omelets are delicious. seriously. try it.) and realize that those types of meals are what got me in this situation to begin with. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. I eat to celebrate, and I eat to hide the pain. I eat with people, I eat alone. I eat too much, and I eat enough so I don't have to put something in a dish that will get thrown away in a week. I eat enough gyoza to fill a skillet because why waste perfectly good skillet space and electricity only making one serving of gyoza? Oh, and gyoza isn't good the next day... gotta get that stuff eaten right away. (No, I've never made a leftover gyoza omelet. What exactly is "leftover" gyoza?)

I'm hoping this plan will help me reevaluate my relationship with food so I can begin to eat for sustenance rather than taste, and eat until I'm satisfied and not until I need to unbutton my pants and waddle to the car. It will take a while, and I'm hoping I stick to it.

Lean and Green is coming up in two hours! I'll update after it or tomorrow. Chicken breasts and asparagus for dinner! I kind of like this thinking-a-day-in-advance thing. It's kind of awesome. It won't always work out with my schedule, but when that happens, I have veggie patties for emergencies! Yum!

Time to get my stuff ready for tomorrow and get my dinner ready. Catch you on the flippity flop!

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I'm back to post about my dinner and I can tell you it was fabulous. Here's the breakdown:

- 6 oz. Chicken Breast (Lean!)
- 1 1/2 cups Asparagus (Green!)
- 1 tsp. Olive Oil (1 Healthy Fat)
- 1 tsp. Soy Sauce (1 condiment)
- 1/4 tsp. Onion Powder (1/2 condiment)
- 1/16 tsp. Garlic Powder (1/8 condiment)
- 1/8 tsp. Ginger (1/4 condiment)
- Dash of salt and black pepper (Lets count it as 1 condiment for giggles. Still under 3!)

I preset my oven to 350 degrees. I wrapped a potato in foil and threw it in for the manfriend and set the timer for 50 minutes. While it was going, I prepped the chicken. I was making enough for him too, so I had 4 thin chicken breast fillets. I thawed them in the refrigerator overnight. I lined a Le Creuset baking dish with foil, long enough to make a pouch. I put the chicken breasts in the foil, drizzled them with the olive oil, soy sauce, and spices (I used a little salt and pepper on both this and the asparagus.) I tossed the chicken about in the mixture and closed the pouch up tight. When the timer had 35 minutes left, I threw it in the oven and worked on the asparagus. I trimmed the ends and set it out on a foiled sheet pan. I drizzled it with the other 1/2 tsp. of my healthy fat for the night, and sprinkled it very lightly with salt and pepper. When the timer had 11 minutes left, I threw it in and did my dishes. Then... bingbingbing! They're all done at the same time. Genius.

This chicken was perfect. It was perfectly cooked.. my gosh. It was so moist and very delicious - perfect texture. I will DEFINITELY be using this method again. Shawn loved it too! Yay! It's amazing how making something so simple can yield so much flavor - we're so used to doctoring everything up all the time and adding more that we forget to stop and appreciate the natural and simple flavors. I think this will be a very fun and knowledgeable learning exercise. Maybe I only cook well becaujse I cover it up to manipulate people into BELIEVING I cook well. (Try it. Put barbecue sauce on anything. ANYTHING. See if anyone complains. I'll wait.)(Yeah, see? I didn't think so.) Only time will tell. Here's to better health tomorrow! Day 3 here I come!

PS: I'm feeling a lot better since I got home today. High hopes that tomorrow will be the same!

Day 1: June 1, 2015

DAY 1: June 1, 2015

Hello! If you're here, it means you're stalking me. Thanks! :)

My name is Sarah. I'm 26, I live near Seattle, and I work downtown as a sous pastry chef at a ginormous hotel. The last few years have been a roller coaster, as I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, an auto-immune disorder that rolls through your body like a STORM OF FURY! (Kidding - it's much calmer than that. More like... I need to sleep on the couch at 2 in the afternoon, cry a lot, and not eat bread the rest of my life.)

 As I said before, I have been heavy most of my life; eating healthy has never come easy for me because I love food. I've always required the assistance of some weight loss program to be successful. I tried Weight Watchers in junior high, Jenny Craig in high school. I did Jenny twice and gained my weight (and then some) back after I finished the program (both times). While I learned how to eat on the program, I felt like I was let out of prison and went crazy on a bunch of food when I got to my goal weight and never stopped. It just felt too good to eat again!

A few years ago, before I was diagnosed, I, for the first time in my life, was starting to take control over my weight on my own. I was eating well, maintaining a great workout regimen by walking this ENORMOUS hill every day, and was losing weight at a steady pace. I got down to a fantastic weight, and felt a great boost in my metabolism that I had never felt. I fit into tiny pants (Size 8 is tiny when you've been up to a size 20) and could actually run to the bus when running was necessary. At this point, I went to the doctor for my yearly physical and got a red flag on my blood work - my thyroid levels were off and my doctor sent me to a specialist. My specialist noticed I had several cysts on my thyroid - jillions (medical term!) of small ones, and two larger ones (one close to 1 cm in diameter, and the other almost 2 cm in diameter). He scheduled a biopsy down the road (everything in the thyroid takes time...) and when it came around, the two larger cysts had disappeared, likely due to my intake of thyroid hormone supplements. When my specialist did my biopsy, he noticed that my thyroid was showing signs of Hashimoto's. Over time, after the cysts disappeared, I began to feel like my old self again: fatigued, not able to sleep as well, depressed, all symptoms of Hashimoto's. My hair was falling out,  I began to put weight back on, and it was so emotionally draining. I stopped working out altogether and found much more solace in sitting on the couch and drinking the pain away over a bowl of Tim's Cascade Jalapeno chips and a pint of ice cream. I was taking my thyroid medication, so why was I suddenly feeling this way? And why wouldn't it go away?

I call myself a "victim" of Hashimoto's much of the time because I feel that it literally killed my spirit for some time. It was hard to get out of bed. If not for my supportive mom, my gorgeous and caring boyfriend, and pictures of my dog, I don't know if I would have made it through. I was scared. I didn't want to be heavy anymore. I was doing everything right, and then all of a sudden my body decided that it didn't want to play anymore. I didn't have the energy to exercise. The sudden massive weight gain stressed me out, so I emotionally ate for some time, and due to a recent breakup, went through a stint of alcoholic depression on top of it. I was not in good health. I was the healthiest I had ever been in my whole life - all my dreams were finally coming true, and then Hashi's came and began taking it all away (it's easier to blame it than myself!). As an auto-immune disorder, diseases such as this can begin wreaking havoc on one's body; my immune system was doing my body a favor by ridding my thyroid of the two bad guy cysts, but then went into overtime and started killing the good stuff too. I am now gluten and dairy intolerant, and my body no longer absorbs nutrients from food thanks to a nummy-sounding thing called "leaky gut syndrome" (you're welcome for that visual).

Okay, so you do the math: recent breakup, sudden weigh gain, emotional eater, hair falling out, alcoholic depression, no energy, pastry chef who became gluten and dairy intolerant, and not enough ice cream in the WORLD to console my feelings! (Can't eat it anyways!)(All adds up to nooooo buennoooo!). Every time I woke up, I reminded myself I was so lucky to have such a fantastic support group, and wondered to myself why I wasn't taking advantage of it. I started trying to eat better, cut out both gluten and dairy, and tried to do the Paleo diet as a suggestion for auto-immune sufferers. (It went well until someone ordered pizza. Good god. Have you smelled pizza?). I did paleo off and on, and tried to sneak in gluten and dairy occasionally, just to make TRIPLE sure that I was still reacting to it. Yup! Headaches and nausea would PLAGUE me for a few days after eating only a little bit. None of it was making me feel any better. Eating well wasn't making me feel better. I had given up almost entirely on losing weight and feeling better. Even my big pants were starting to feel tight, and I JUST bought them.

Thankfully, I believe in good karma. At some point in my life, I held the door open for the right person at the right time or said good morning to someone that needed it, because good karma swung back around and brought me Gloria. Gloria is a very good friend of mine that I met in the 3rd grade. She was in 2nd grade, and I remember the first time I ever saw her. We were at recess and she was this very tiny, adorable little Asian person with a bowl cut (it was a big bowl too! Awwww!), and I just thought she was adorable. We kept in touch off and on through school; we lived in the same neighborhood, just a few streets over. We went through several periods where we would hang out a lot for a few months, and then just kind of drifted away. (I've never really been a great friend - I always assume that people are better off without me. I've never really thought of myself as a cool person. I sit alone and think about all the people I've been good friends with - when I see them with me, I see them sitting and talking with me and looking bored. When I see them in my head when I'm home alone, I see them sitting on a beach somewhere drinking mai tais. I, too, would prefer the mai tais to my boring conversation, so I just assume they're happier there without me!)

For some unknown reason, Gloria and I sparked a conversation and went out to sushi a few weeks ago. We got caught up and began hanging out quite a bit. I needed it, and so did she. My depression stint and breakup basically took away all my social interaction because I pushed everyone away. Spending time with Gloria has been a godsend. She pulls me out of the house to do things, and I haven't been this active in months (I have things on the calendar!). Just my luck, Gloria just started as a health coach for a program called Take Shape For Life. After a few weeks of convincing, she finally got me to start it.

Take Shape For Life is a program that utilizes the Medifast meal supplements, a line of meal replacements that are physician recommended, heart healthy meals that put one's body into a fat-burning mode for quick and healthy weight loss. It sounds extreme because it is. Clients get a box of food delivered to their door to feed themselves for 4 weeks; 5 meal replacements a day, and then you're on your own for the sixth meal with a lean and green (protein and vegetables!) meal. It's a program that helps to achieve a healthy weight quickly, and pairs clients with (free!) health coaches from the beginning to teach them how to maintain that weight (as) easily (as possible).

So that brings us here. I have started my journey to better (optimal!) health. June 1, 2015 is DAY ONE. I wanted to start this blog as a helpful tool for myself. I've always been a writer, and I want to publish my food journal to remind myself why I'm doing this and help myself to continue. If I publish my daily food journal, I think it will help me to reaffirm my own beliefs in the program even when the times are hard. It will give me something to do and create yet another measurable form of progress (I'll start by whining, and perhaps it will gradually decrease.). And perhaps, if anyone EVER finds and reads this, it will help them too. (Hi!)

I know that I don't have it that rough. Yes, the road was rough FOR ME, because I was between a rock and a hard place in my head. I didn't want to come out in the open because I felt better staying in my hole with my spoon in my ice cream (Ice cream knowwwsss meeeee and I looovvveee itttt). There are people out there surviving worse situations with better attitudes. I fell into a funk and I'm ready to get out of it. So lets go! Lets do it together. If I can do it, you can do it.

Without further ado, here is my food journal for day 1. I will preface by saying this is hand-written in a notebook at the time of consumption, and I will type it verbatim. (Perhaps I will add parenthesis for present comments on these past experiences. Good idea Sarah.  Thanks Sarah!)

DAY 1: SUCCESS IS ON THE HORIZON! (Yes, I really wrote that. Shutup.)

4:50 AM: Medifast Cappuccino

I poured my first packet into my mug and brewed a Starbucks K-cup into it in lieu of using cold water and the microwave. I took about 20 minutes to dirnk it, and it wasn't bad. I hit some powdery sediment at the bottom, but that was to be expected. I feel so full right now!

I'm starting my first day with a positive outlook on what the next few months will bring. I KNOW I can do this. Work will be an obstacle, but I WILL persevere.

I boiled water this morning to add to my soup in my new thermos - looking forward to that.

8:10 AM: Medifast Chocolate Mint Crunch Bar

Thank God. I was just getting hungry. This is delicious! Good minty flavor. I've been cleaning out the freezer and was almost tempted by some mousse spheres, but I knew better. (Yes, mousse spheres. I have a very fancy job, okay? Do you have mousse spheres? God, I wanted to eat those mousse spheres.) Drinking lots of water today and still facing the day with a positive attitude.

11:20 AM: Medifast Chicken and Rice Soup

I was just getting really hungry again. Sitting in the lunch room. Had no problem bypassing the line today (Side note: At my big fancy hotel, we have a big, free, fancy buffet for employees every day. Includes two types of protein entrees, rice, full salad bar, and a few warm side dishes. Examples: oxtail, prime rib [yes, fresh carved.], lasagna, pho, chicken wings, bahn mi, and the occasional Dante's Inferno hot dog cart for very special occasions...  [my mouth is watering. I need to stop.]) Sitting by myself - nobody on shift with me. Does not pose a challenge today, but may in the future when I can see what my coworkers are eating. While working, there were a few times I wanted to taste things or clean off the spoon before throwing it in the garbage (they call it a tasting spoon for a reason!), but the internal dialogue from Dr. A's book kept me from doing it. Keep going - the first step is the hardest! And day 1 is already half over! I can do this!!! (Each word is underlined three times in my journal - no accurate way to portray this. For mental visual purposes, please envision 3rd grader hand-writing with three fancy, sharp straight lines underlining for emphasis!)

11:50 - I'm still hungry after the soup. It's to be expected. Must stay strong. Walking after work will be a no-go today.

(I realized after typing this that there was no review of the soup. It was good!)

1:55 PM: Medifast BBQ Bites

I'm starving. I've been drinking a lot of water today and I think the combination of that and my nearly 15,000 steps (#fitbit!) at work today have pushed  everything through and I've already burned what I've eaten today. I can do it. About to enjoy my BBQ bites. I hope they're good!

Verdict: they're really not bad. Could be worse. And there are quite a few in the bag. Thank goodness.

5:00 PM: Medifast Dutch Chocolate Shake

I was getting really hungry but kept myself busy and kept my goals in mind. This shake freaking TASTES LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK. I love it. I want to say this will be easy - I know it won't - but it's certainly looking more doable considering how good the food is so far.

Tilapia and veggies coming up for dinner.

(Side note.. I think I will start putting asterisks for every time I have to get up and pee while blogging. Holy moly. My shift and 8 keys will start wearing out... Yikes.)

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8:30 PM: Lean and Green Meal

Baked tilapia (lean), 2 cups romaine + 1/2 cup mushrooms (3 daily servings of green), lemon juice on tilapia (1/2 condiment), salt, pepper, garlic powder (1/2 condiment), 2 tbsp. raspberry vinaigrette (1 condiment), 2 tsp. olive oil (healthy fats).

Tilapia was delicious!! I've only had it once or twice, but this was better than I ever remember it tasting! (I never ate fish when I was younger - I thought it was so gross. I never started eating it until about late 2013 when I was in the middle of my skinny thyroid cyst phase). My new program-approved dressing was delicious and the roasted mushrooms were divine. Still hungry, but I'll live. Here's to tomorrow!!

I treated myself to my optional snack before bed. Bad Sarah. Good popcicle! (Yes, it was sugar-free!)

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Okay, so that was day 1! Scary as it was, it wasn't that scary. My health coach is on top of things. She sent me an email on day 1 that told me what to anticipate for the first few days of the program, so I braced myself for the coming storm! Stay tuned for day two. :)

Thanks for reading, stalker!